Wedding Observations #2 // Who Gives This Woman?
For purpose of this post, ignore Steve Martin’s face. But do watch “Father of the Bride”
At most of the weddings I’ve attended, I haven’t actually been a proper guest. Normally, I’m part of the band for the service, playing bass (because every wedding benefits from some low octave action). This involves sitting at the front of the church, which gives me a priveleged view of the bride and groom’s faces as they stand at the front. You catch some quiet touching and amusing moments.
The thing that usually catches my eye, however, is the father of the bride. You’ve got to feel for this guy. By the time he’s walked his daughter down the aisle, he’s shelled out a tonne of cash, put up with unbearable future in-laws, possibly endured a very awkward stag-do and had to come to terms with the fact that this kid in a cravat is soon going to be doing the bizzo with his little girl. Poor bloke, right?
And yet his face always strikes me – because he is absolutely made up. He is beaming. Most of the time, if I’m honest, he shows up the bride and the groom with how chuffed he looks. Despite all that’s gone on en route to the altar, it’s clear that there’s no greater joy for him than to give his precious child into the care of another man.
Thinking about this transaction at the heart of a wedding ceremony, my mind was drawn to John 10. Jesus is arguing with Jews who want him to be plain about whether or not he is the Messiah. He says he’s been plain enough, but they don’t understand because they’re not his sheep. He then says this:
“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one” (John 8:27-30)
So Christians, Jesus’ sheep, have been given to him by his Father. What does that even mean? At one level – no one knows! This is a deep mystery about salvation and the Trinity. But just think about this: for all eternity, our Father has been giving love and adoration to the Son, and the Son has been joyfully accepting. When the time came, the Father gave the Son the command to go to earth – and he accepted. Our Father gave him the order in Gethsemane to go to the cross – and he accepted. Our Father gave Jesus life again – and he accepted! Our Father gave Jesus the Holy Spirit to give to us – and he accepted (Acts 2:33, check it out)! Our Father gave him the name above all names – and he accepted! And, in his grace, God brought us into this beautiful, harmonious relationship and gave us to Jesus as a prize possession – and he accepted! We are his! All creation is groaning for the day when we’ll be revealed as such, when the church will be perfected and united to Christ, “prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband” (Rev. 21:2).
So the next time you see the father of the bride beaming with pride, in spite of the great cost to himself, be pointed towards the immeasurable joy with which God the Father gave you to God the Son. You were chosen to belong to Christ, to be made his at great cost, and Jesus rejoices that you belong to him. You are his prized possession, a precious gift from his Father which he will never let go.
An Unshakable Kingdom 